This world cup I have really enjoyed. The games are
exciting, the teams tend to have an attacking philosophy and there have been
lots of goals. Given the joy it has brought, I have decided to combine it with
my studies to come up with a theology football squad. So without further ado,
here it is.
Theologians United: Starting Eleven
Defence
A world class keeper, Athanasius is a stalwart shot stopper.
This was vicariously demonstrated at the Nicene Cup, where he saved attempt
after attempt from the talented playmaker Arius. With a determined yet composed
mind-set, this boy’s courage in the face of adversity makes him the first name
on the team sheet.
Right-back – Anselm of Canterbury
This player will never settle for anything less than the
greatest conceivable result. Always to be relied upon, Anselm will not be
satisfied with his performance without a complete sacrifice on his part, as
demonstrated by his excellent marshalling of inform striker Guanilo last week.
Coached by Aristotle, it is no shock that he is at the heart
of the defence. Don’t be fooled by his analogical interviewing style – this man
is the real deal. Aquinas’ natural ability manifests itself in working with the
players around him up towards the desired victory. His athleticism, ability to
read the game, strength, speed and his prolific goal-scoring from set plays are
just five proofs of why he should be in the team.
Following a disastrous move from city to city and his latest
off-pitch confession, it is a real surprise Augustine has made the starting line-up.
Having overcome his original sins, it was thought he had turned a corner, but
recent events suggest otherwise. However, his past record of being able to
ascend to lofty heights from even the darkest moments of his career may have
inspired the manager to choose him, knowing that a bit of grace is what this
player needs to shine.
Left-back – N. T. Wright
This lad has offered a fresh, new perspective on how to be a
left back, causing a division of opinion amongst commentators and players
alike. Having had his techniques undermined and exploited by strikers Piper and
Carson, in recent seasons Wright has had to reign in his novel approach and has
begun to incorporate more traditional elements to his game. Nevertheless, with
a tremendous output, jovial attitude and vast experience, the opposition must
be wary of his prowess.
Midfield
Right Midfield – John Wesley
Something of a perfectionist, this winger has developed his
game to a high standard. Having been ridiculed for his training methods, his
play has silenced the critics with its sublime organisation combined with exuberant
performances. His roaming attacks strangely warm the heart, igniting a spirit
of attacking football.
Central Midfield – John Calvin (Captain)
Having instituted a reformation in the fortunes of Geneva United,
it was predestined that Calvin would have his name on the team sheet. Having
had triple honours at club level, it is now time for him to make his mark on
the world stage. Emphasising simplicity, this man’s ability to dictate play and
allow others to build upon his work is impeccable.
Central Midfield – Karl Barth
A revelation of late, this dogmatic midfielder plays off
Calvin and gets stuck into the action. Following the manager’s word, he is a
reliable, yet visceral player, enforcing his side’s dominance. However, this
abrasive style can often cause dialectical dischord between him and his fellow
teammates.
Left Midfield – Cornelius Van Til
It was presupposed before this column that Van Til would be
selected, as his skill is truly transcendental! Through this one man, many
other players are united through his excellent distribution of the ball,
electric movement and game management. One risk with his selection may be his long
time feud with Barth, ignited by Van Til calling him irrational after a club
match.
Attack
Forward – Martin Luther
The manager’s faith in Luther has been fully justified as he
has had some stunning performances of late. Only he can grace the pitch with
such speed, aggression and skill. A great communicator, Luther leads by example
and inspires others to get the best out of their attributes. However, he does
not see the coach as the final authority on tactical matters, which could prove
a problem if he disagrees with the manager’s interpretation on how to win the
game.
Forward – Soren Kierkegaard
Whilst his form is objectively uncertain, this player’s
subjective commitment to the cause is unquestionable. Modelling his style on
the father of football, Abraham, Kierkegaard is a classic centre forward. Regardless
of the guise he has assumed, he always pops up in the right position to score. However,
with his fragile temperament, it was a leap of faith on the manager’s part to
pick him for this important match.
Tactical View
Substitutes and Management
Basil the Great, Gregory of Nazianzus and Gregory of Nyssa
all find themselves on the bench today. Whilst these three persons have a
perichoretic chemistry, the nature of team does not suit their ticci-tacca
style. However, if the team needs a change, these top players of Cappadocia
F.C. all have a lot to give.
Also substitutes are Gustavo Gutierrez and Leonardo Boff. A
liberating presence on the team, these two attackers can open up oppressive defences
to great effect. However, the beautiful game requires a revolution before they
truly have a place in football.
Duns Scotus may make his debut today. This lad’s nominal
quality is far exceeding most others, with his precision passing a delight to
observe. His presence on the park is universal, and his ability to formally
distinguish the flaws in the opposition is a marvel to behold.
In form striker Francis of Assisi is on the bench.
Whilst he spends his time with lots of birds, this man’s charity on the ball is
to be admired. Moreover, his work ethic is to be praised, carrying on even when
he is faced with stigmatic injuries.
Manager – Paul of Tarsus
No one else could manage a side with so many big names.
Having been a world class player, being an extremely zealous footballer, Paul
has brought that ethic into his management, encouraging his players to unite in
spirit. Moreover, he has successfully coached Thessalonica F.C., Corinthians, Ephesus United among other clubs. Recognising that a team is like a body, he has a good balance to his
squad’s. Yet most importantly, he engenders a philosophy within his players to
be living sacrifices for each other.
Do you agree with this selection? Who would you choose?
Leave your comments below, and thanks for reading.
Thanks to my father for contributing to some of the
selections.