Loosehead Prop - David Hume
Hooker - Thomas Hobbes (Captain)
Nasty, brutish and short, he is perfect for the front row. A leviathan in the scrum, he can secure valuable penalties for the team. As a captain he leads as a benevolent dictator, which may come back to hurt him.
Second Row - Thomas Aquinas
Built like an ox, this fellow is an intimidating heavyweight of classic rugby. Having developed five ways of playing second row, he is able to adapt his game accordingly. Never committing a penalty, Aquinas naturally follows the law, whilst transubstantiating ordinary teams into winning ones.
Second Row - John Locke
With the will to believe, this player can always be counted upon in the most dire circumstances. He belongs to a sporting family, with his brother Henry competing in the American Football ‘Golden Bowl’ every year. A live option, James has a variety of experiences which he can bring in a pragmatic fashion to this side.
Openside Flanker - Ludwig Wittgenstein
Scrum-Half - Aristotle
Fly-Half - Plato
A player who always finds an original position to start an attack, Rawls is an exciting player. Most critics of him are clearly not behind a veil of ignorance, as his minimum performance is always at its best. A long standing rivalry with Nozick has honed his skills for a more distributive style.
A player who personifies rugby as a thinking man’s game. A classic French winger, his constant focus on his self makes him disregard cooperative play, often treating his teammates as if they were figments of a dream. Despite that, if he gets into space he becomes like an evil demon, terrorising defences with his speed, agility and guile.
Winger - Bertand Russell
Perceiving danger before it arises, he is the ideal fullback. He has a lot of attacking ideas, but struggles to connect them to reality. Has often gone missing in games when no one specifically watches him.
He may not be the best player, but what makes Socrates the best rugby coach is that, unlike everyone else on this list, he managed to convince opponents of his position! With his friendly manner, dialectical approach and inspiring vision, he is the right man to unite a team of egotistical, dogmatic and uptight divas.
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